THE 14 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU WILL MEET IN THE HAMPTONS

Some people think the Hamptons are just a wasteland of homogenous wealth where rich folks go to play polo. Possibly on unicorns. But if you've been to the Hamptons, you know there's more diversity than that, as not EVERYONE can afford a good unicorn wrangler. Many unique folks make up the vivid tapestry that is a summer in the Hamptons, here are 15 of them.

1. The Rich Toddler

Note: these are not actual toddlers (though you will see some of them, too). They're sucking on oysters and ordering bottle service, but make no mistake, Mom and Dad are still 100% footing the bill. Like with actual toddlers, public urination is still in play. CEO, Hamptons, Hnetinka, Valleywag, Gawker, WunWun, Amazon

2. The Summer Share Brosters

Ever wondered what a clown car would look like, but in house form? Look no further than these guys, who turned a house that says it accommodates “5-7 comfortably” into a 37-person halfway house from Hell. Expect to find them blasting Calvin Harris, playing beer pong, and being homophobic.

3. The "We're In Our 30s" Couple

They've made some money. They've graduated from their crazy, young Hamptons days. They're looking for a low-key dinner at World Pie, maybe a game of Cards Against Humanity, and the chance to doze off before they can even catch an SNL rerun, even though it's the Timberlake episode.

4. The "Welcome To My House" Guy

Make no mistake, the 25-year-old gentleman with the impressive digs you just met (Chet, we'll call him) is still telling his parents he's thinking about applying to law school, but does not intend to. This is, very much, NOT Chet's house.